Bet your bottom dollar..

Trebuchet.. is this font, I thought that was some kind of catapult type thing, not a font that you write with. Maybe I'll wiki it.. hold on

BY GEORGE I WAS RIGHT! - - A trebuchet or trebucket is a siege engine that was employed in the Middle Ages either to smash masonry walls or to throw projectiles over them.

Why do I know such useless things?! Why can't my head be filled with things that are pertinant to my chosen career or something else useful?

My heart hurts.. I don't know why.. I wish I didn't feel emotional hurt a lot of the time. Physical pain is the way to go, you just pop a couple of advil or take some morphine et voila.. it's gone. Emotional pain sticks around long past it's welcome. I want everything to be butterflies and rainbows and roses... white roses, they are so pretty. Maybe some lilies too or some orchids.

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. My life is falling apart around me and I just want someone to pick up the pieces for me or hug me and tell me I'll be okay. I'm scared the sun isn't going to come out tomorrow.. I don't give a shit what that damn ginger Annie has to say about it. I'm ready to quit, actually ready to throw up the white flag, crawl into my bed and say I'm done. Prince Charming isn't coming, my school work isn't getting done, and I'm not getting any thinner. My arms and legs are done flailing in the water and I'm just ready to drown....

Erghugh

Wellll.. I think the title says it all!!!!

I haven't written in here in ages and ages and I just thought I'd take it up.. (not like anyone reads it)!
I'm currently super cranky and I don't know what to do about it, I've had a headache on and off for the past 3 days..
That might be a tiny reason! But anyways, my face has decided to break out too, I think deep down I feel stressed I just don't actually realize it..

Ummm.. and hopefully Clowin you will read this.. that man of my dreams doesn't exist anymore, he was more the man of my nightmares :). Thank you for everything, I love you to death and then some :)

And this just in, a little side note - 2008 was actually good for me for the most part, I was just too damn ridiculous to see it. I accomplished a lot and I plan to accomplish more this year. Luckily I don't have the added weight of certain things anymore. Most days it feels like the world is at my fingertips :)

Cause CLOWIN bitched about me not blogging, fucker!

Rules: Answer all of the questions with a word that begins with the same latter that either your name, blogger ID, or blog name begins with.

1. What is your name: Sam

2. A 4-letter word: sink

3. A boy's name: Shawn

4. A girl's name: Sierra

5. An occupation: Ship captain

6. A colour: Salmon

7. Something you wear: Shirt

8. A beverage: Sleemans? its a beer haha

9. A food: Skittles

10. Something found in the bathroom: Soap

11. A place: Sierra Leone

12. A reason for being late: Slept in

13. Something you shout: SHUTTHEFUCKUP


I hope you're happy bitch :)

*S

Up, Up and...

AWAY goes the worries of my life..

I haven't felt a single worry in over two weeks...

I didn't even worry much that there was a psycho on the loose..

Things just don't bother me.. I can't do blood pressure.. so what? I need to go back to school.. so what? I'm going to be alone all my life.. so what? I'm going to fail physical assessment.. so what? I haven't talked to you in a month.. so what? I eat too much junk food.. so what? I think I love you and it won't work out.. so what? THINGS ARE NOT PERFECT FOR ME... so..what?

I can't be perfect and that's okay for me, I'm going to survive, I'm going to live a full life and be happy doing so. I'm going to live day to day, moment to moment. I'm just going to be.

*S

You're something beautiful, a contradiction...

I wanna play the game, I want the friction... ;)

I love Muse, fabulous song! Anyways, today was a not so good day so I made a logical choice and decided not to do any school work because I knew deep down that it would only make things worse. So what did I do you may ask? Well I made kraft dinner and watched the movie 1984.. definitely was not what I expected. I started reading the book in the summer because my brother had it for an english assignment. I didn't finish it, but now I'm totally curious as to how closely the book follows the movie. I also had a tiny nap during it because I was super tired and just kind of died..oops? THEN I watched the rest of Camp Rock, I started watching it while I was away in Ontario the last week in August but never finished it. It was a pretty rocking movie, I sang along and everything :).

Now, I just finished cleaning my room and I think I'm going to read my beloved book, The Host. OH MY GOD, I absolutely love it, I swear if I don't finish it soon I'm gonna go nuts. It's so hard to put down but I have to will myself to leave it so I can do things such as sleep, go to class, eat and shower.. ya know all the stupid daily stuff that just needs to be done. I'm going home this weekend and it's going to be the absolute best time of my life :). Maybe I'll write about it ;).

*S

Tag?

Apparently I have been tagged by Clowin..

what to do:

• Link the blogger who tagged you (as shown above).

• In your blog, write up rules and then...

• Place 6 quirky facts about yourself that no one knows.

• Tag six other bloggers and link them.

• Visit each person's blog and leave them a comment informing them that they have been tagged.

ok, here we go:

1. I used to sleep with a piece of fur that I thought was seal fur, until someone told me it was a rabbit.. I was absolutely disgusted with myself

2. I'm terrified that I'm going to wake up when I'm 80 and still be alone.

3. I get embarrassed easily when people talk about sex

4. I've lost a few friends in the past few months and some days I wish I could get them back but then I realize how miserable I was with them around.

5. The people I've met at university have changed my life (for the better of course)

6. I'm extremely jealous of one of my best friends and I wish that my life was like hers most of the time.


Well there you go, six random things about me that I'm hoping you didn't know. Anyways, I'd love to sit and blog but I need to read physical assessment so that I can listen to heart sounds tomorrow. I like being able to do neat things like that :)

*S

Someone is loving liffffeeee...

AND ITS ME!!!!!!

Today has completely rocked my socks... I went shopping and bought a cute pair of shoes for the semi-formal tomorrow night.. I bought my mommy part of her Christmas present.. I bought cue cards to help me study muscles for anatomy and physiology.. My mom sent my dress for my semi-formal and IT FITS.... and I got an 85 on my bio lab midterm.. So all in all I love life! I'm swearing off junk food tomorrow and I'm hopefully going to stick to it. Seeing as the gym is out of commission due to a flood, I need to do something else. I could eat a horse and not notice I ate it, then gain 20 pounds. Anyways, life rocks and I rock.. so ya!

Jesus doesn't want me for a sunbeam....

Tonight.. I learned how to play risk! It was a decently fun time. I must say however that games which take three hours to play kill me. They should have a timer and a person must play in the alotted time. I have no patience! =( Now, I'm incredibly hyper and I feel like I could run a marathon (if I weren't so pleasantly plump of course).

Food, I love it too much, I wish they could make healthy food taste like fuzzy peaches, or Reese puffs cereal. Just have this magic flavoring for vegetables or something. Don't get me wrong, I love me some lettuce with a little tomato and some carrot, makes a great salad. But I'd much rather be eating some sugar or a bag of chips. How do you stop thinking about such things? Or craving them? I'm sure if someone could figure that out, they'd be a kajillionaire! Maybe that's what I'm meant to do with my life. Solve the obesity epidemic.. ha.. ha..

Anyways, tomorrow I'm spending the day in bed I think.. away from food, away from life's little hassles, just curled up with me and my stuffies. Yes, I'm 19 and still have stuffies, get the fuck over it, k thanks? So bed, tomorrow, for a really long time.. it will be heaven.

"Voooodooo lady, shaking that stick driving me crazy"

*S

I compare thee...

The week from hell is over....

Soo that means the marks have to come back from the midterms. This is the part of the process that I dread. Everyone gets their mark and they start asking everyone else what they got. Personally, I think it's stupid, if I wanted to broadcast my mark, I'd get on the radio and tell the world. But like the good sport that I am, and just for the sheer fact that I don't want to look like a complete jerk, I tell people what I've made when they ask. I hate knowing what other people get, I hate feeling inadequate and I hate hearing "OH MY GOD, I BEAT YOU". I think they should do away with grades, or something to that effect. Please?

*S

It's only effing Tuesday....

It's Tuesday... it feels like I have gone through about three weeks of my life in the last two days. I've written three midterms and I did a presentation. I'm currently working on a paper that is suppose to be a maximum of ten pages, I'm scared I won't even come close to four. It's due Thursday and I have a lab midterm on Friday. For once though, on the bright side of all this, I'm not stressed out. I don't want to pull my hair out and scream at the top of my lungs.

However, I am minorly sick of always comparing myself to other people. Comparing test marks, comparing papers, comparing looks. It has become a knife in my side, or something along those lines. I listen to people talk about how many pages they wrote for a paper, or how well they did on this test and I feel horrible, I feel like I can't keep up with anyone. With this paper that I'm currently working on, I'm just writing and hoping for the best, I'm trying my darnedest not to ask people how many pages they have or what they wrote about. Whatever happens with the paper it's my fault, no one elses, I can't be jealous or angry about someone else doing better (as long as they don't rub it in of course).

Just trying to make it to Friday, trying to reach the gold at the end of the rainbow.. that is my goal.

*S

Let the chips fall where they may..

I wish I could do that, just let things happen. Toss the chips up in the air and let them fall, I can sure as hell do it with my belongings. I watched Fight Club for the millionth time tonight and every time I watch it I fall in love with Brad Pitt. His character's personality in that movie is amazing, I wish I was a guy so I could beat people up, I highly doubt they have fight clubs for females. I can't imagine many females want to beat others to a bloody pulp, I'm weird I guess.

Anyways, I feel really antsy, I hate not being able to control every aspect of my life. There's so much going on right now and I'm getting distracted. I always get distracted by stupid things when there's important stuff that needs to be done. I wish I had a switch that I could flip and I could automatically focus on what needs to be done. I think the term for me is.. a sucker for punishment. I keep going back for more.

"Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing. Like the first monkey shot into space"
A little quote from Fight Club, I wonder if that's true, if I wasn't in so much pain sometimes and if things did cause me to suffer, would I have nothing? Or would I be happy?

*S

Waiting..

I suck at waiting, I'm probably the most impatient person in the world! To ease my pain of waiting I decided to
write a quick blog. It's midterm time and there is waayy too much to do in my life but for once, I'm not stressed out. I don't feel like pulling out my hair or crawling under my bed and hiding. I'm facing the problem head on. It's a really strange feeling for me, I'm used to leaving everything til the night before and trying to cram it all into my head. Now, I'm studying and trying to write my paper days earlier. I still wonder how I'm going to fit everything in but it's not bugging me. The one thing that is bugging me is the current state of my room. It looks like a hurricane hit it!!!! I just keep throwing stuff around and instead of landing in appropriate places it just lands in the middle of my floor or all over my bed. Cleaning is going to be a requirement before I start studying at all today...

*S

Again..

So, because I'm extremely original (but not really) I decided to blog.. again! Really I'm looking for any excuse possible to procrastinate. University is tough a world. All the midterms, papers, assignments. I'm ready to be shot in the foot. Following suit behind a few other people, I started this blog and figured I'd write a few lines to get it started. And now I must get back to a lovely paper on lovely hepatitis B.

*S